Walking Away From Your EX’s Grave
Romans 7:1-6
Aug 13, 2023
Pastor Craig Ledbetter
Bible Baptist Church, Ballincollig, Cork, Ireland
I. Introduction (Romans 7:1-6)
A. Romans Chapter 7 of Romans is amazing!
1. It will blow you away with brilliant truths about Christ’s relationship with a believer,
2. The Apostle Paul is now going to give us an example of how we are saved even though we still sin
3. Wait a minute…
a. If we Christians are sinners who still sin…
b. And, if God’s Law is right, and has authority to expose sin…
c. How can we sin and still be saved?
4. Because our flesh/body has been declared dead by God!
5. And we are no longer bound to obey our flesh, our body, our old, sinful nature
B. Let’s read the first 6 verses of chapter 7…
1. Romans 7:1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth?
2. Romans 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3. Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
4. Romans 7:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.
5. Romans 7:5 For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death.
6. Romans 7:6 But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.
II. Message
A. The Laws of God Governs All Life (Romans 7:1,2)
1. Romans 7:1,2 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
2. Paul is going to use marriage and remarriage to explain what happens when a person gets saved!
3. Starts with the authority of God’s Laws
a. God’s Laws describe rights and obligations, restrictions and protections of both people and their children in a marriage.
b. Marriage is not a free-for-all – not a do as you please act
1) Where people marry, divorce, remarry, divorce, live-together, break-up, and on and on and on!
2) Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
3) It is a serious commitment to the other half to love, honour, obey until death!
4) It does not matter WHAT anyone else thinks or says, or how you feel about it!
c. Marriage was designed from the beginning as honourable, and good, and between one woman, and one man, for life
1) Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
2) Matthew 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
3) Matthew 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
4) Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
d. By-the-way, every time people change the laws of the land AWAY from the laws of God, the more tyrannical our leaders become, and the less freedom people have! And more violence!
B. A Married Woman is Bound to her Husband (Romans 7:2)
1. Romans 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; ...
2. Same goes for the man – bound to the woman he married
3. Not just lawfully wedded, but legally bound to stay married to that same person, and not throw him or her away
C. But the Law DOES Allow for Remarriage (Romans 7:2)
1. Romans 7:2 … but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
2. How?
3. If the other person dies. That’s why we say, “Till death do you part” in the marriage vows
4. It allows for three ways to break a marriage relationship
a. Death of one of the two people
b. Abandonment, and or physical abuse by the other person
c. Or, Adultery by the other person
5. Paul uses only the first reason for remarriage
a. Because the last two were added because people’s hearts are hard, and won’t accept blame, and won’t forgive, and usually are only committed to their own happiness
b. Matthew 19:7,8 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
D. Let’s Discover the Meaning of the Comparison with Marriage (Romans 7:2-4)
1. Romans 7:2-4 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man. Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.
2. The woman is us – our soul (the real ME inside this flesh/body)
3. We are already married to a “husband” - our flesh – stuck with it! Try and get rid of it!
4. ILLUSTRATION: ME and my BODY are bound to each other
a. The first husband (flesh) is cruel, and abusive and unkind, selfish, self-centred, arrogant, proud, full of himself, only interested in himself (describe your husband?)
b. There is a part of us that is not alive – it is empty – our spirit
c. The better husband is Christ who wants to live with you in your spirit
E. We Are “Married” to Our Flesh (Romans 7:2,3)
1. Romans 7:2,3 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
2. Bound to submit to our flesh, as long as it is alive!
a. When your body is weak, you are stuck in it – oh you want to act like you are 23 yars old again, but your body won’t let you
b. When your hair falls out, it wins, not your will power
c. When your body lusted for drink, or drugs, you obeyed
d. EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW IT WOULD HURT YOU!
e. As much as you may hate your old life, your relationship with the old you, you cannot step out on it – it would be adultery
f. Christ is NOT going to marry you as you are – that would be like you having TWO husbands, and the Law forbids that
3. The only way for us sinners to be free to remarry, would be for our flesh to DIE
4. But then that would be too late – no way to enjoy a better marriage
F. Everyone Wants to be Married to a “Better Partner”
1. Every human is “married” to an awful husband – their flesh (body)
a. Compares their weak, selfish, self-centred body to being married to an undesirable husband
b. Stuck with their flesh, in their flesh, subject to the whims of their flesh!
2. Even married women WISH they had a better husband
3. JOKE: A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands.
a. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: “You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!
b. So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband.
c. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
d. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
e. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.
f. “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
g. “Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
h. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please.
i. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
G. There IS a Better Man to Marry
1. The truly Perfect Man does exist
a. He has chosen someone to be His wife
b. He is Honourable – impeccable character
c. He is the hardest working Man who ever lived
d. Never complains, never quits
e. He loves the woman unconditionally – has no expectations of her
f. He could never hurt her, or forsake her
g. He will give His own life to save her
2. He SO wants to marry US
3. But He (the better Man, Jesus) cannot marry her
a. Because she (us) is already married
b. To what? Our flesh
c. Now, Don’t get lost here…
d. The real you is not flesh and bones, and chemical reactions
e. The real you is your soul
f. And your soul is stuck to your flesh - married
g. Every time your hands steal something, your soul sins
h. Every time your MOUTH says something wicked, your SOUL sins and will be judged for it – yep!
i. Ezekiel 18:4 Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die.
j. It didn’t say the flesh that sins – it says the SOUL that sins – the soul of a person is married to / stuck to their body!
H. Someone has to Die if You are Going to Marry the Better Man (Romans 7:4)
1. Romans 7:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God.
2. What or Who died so that you can marry a better Man?
a. The Law did NOT die – no! That is what most people believe – that’s stupid
b. Sin did NOT die – nope! It is still very much alive and active
c. The Better Man died
1) The Messiah Died in my place – for all my sins
2) Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
d. And the old me died with Christ (all my sinful past)
1) Romans 6:6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
2) Romans 6:11 Likewise reckon [BELIEVE] ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
3) When Jesus died, your cry to Jesus to save you, caused GOD to declare the OLD YOU dead with Jesus Christ!
4) Amen!
3. As far as GOD is concerned, the OLD YOU is dead and buried with Jesus Christ
4. But that is not all!
I. The Resurrected Christ made me Able to Cling to Him Now in a New Relationship
1. This is the marvellous part
2. Obviously, I did not physically die when I heard about Christ’s death
3. But when I believed that He died for me, God declared the old me dead
4. And He made me free to remarry the resurrected Christ!
5. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
6. That was when he declared me ALIVE in my Spirit! When HE came IN!!!
J. No wonder I am told to walk in my spirit (not in my flesh anymore) (Romans 7:5,6)
1. Romans 7:5,6 For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.
2. The problem with our flesh
a. Romans 7:5 For when we were in the flesh…
b. When we were in a relationship with our flesh
c. Romans 7:5 …the motions of sins…
d. The activities of sin - lusts, anger, wrath, lying, pride…
e. Romans 7:5 …which were by the law
f. Which were exposed by the law of God
g. Romans 7:5 … did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death…
h. Only ruined our life – pushing us further and closer to death every day
i. When we were in a relationship with our flesh, The activities of sin - lusts, anger, wrath, lying, pride… Which were exposed by the law of God, Only ruined our life – pushing us further and closer to death every day
3. We have now been delivered / SAVED from the Law binding the first marriage
a. Romans 7:6 But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.
b. The Law did not die
c. The old ME died – my worst enemy!
1) The flesh that we were stuck in, that we were HELD to…
2) Is DEAD now – declared dead by God
3) Making it possible for anyone to enter into a better “marriage”
d. A Christian has been freed from their fleshly nature by open-soul-surgery!
1) A believer is complete now – completed by marriage to a better Man
2) Colossians 2:10 And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power: [AND HEAD OVER YOU NOW TOO]
3) Spiritual circumcision – separating the soul from the body
4) Colossians 2:11 In whom also ye are circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, in putting off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ:
5) Spiritually united with Jesus Christ’s death, burial and resurrection, like a baptism into Him!
6) Colossians 2:12 Buried with him in baptism, wherein also ye are risen with him through the faith of the operation of God, who hath raised him from the dead.
7) No longer in a dead relationship with sin, but forgiven!
8) Colossians 2:13 And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses
4. A Christian is in a new marriage – the best marriage
a. Hosea 2:19,20 And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.
b. Paul says in 2Corinthians 11:2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused [ENGAGED] you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. TALKING TO CHRISTIANS!
c. JESUS is who I am married to – clinging to, loving, and walking with
d. I serve my new husband – the only Man worthy of serving with my whole life
5. So, WALK AWAY from the grave of the old you!
a. Quit giving it all your attention, and still obeying it!
1) WHY would I ever want to continue to serve my flesh anymore?
2) WHY would I ever want to continue to walk with that old husband I wanted to be free from?
b. Until you start seeing your lusts, your selfish pride, your wicked imagination as your EX partner, spouse…
c. And, until you start seeing your hunger for God, for the Bible, for souls to be saved, for your new husband, Jesus as a better way of living…
d. You will struggle between two worlds – between two homes – the past and the future!
1) Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
2) Romans 8:5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
3) Do you see the “minding” obeying, serving?
a) Either serving the flesh
b) Or the Spirit
c) Romans 8:12,13 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
d) Live to please the old you, or the new you
4) Chapter 8 is the crown jewel of Romans, as you will see! So full of glorious truths
III. Summary
A. Romans Chapter 7 of Romans is amazing!
1. Brilliant truths about Christ’s relationship with a believer,
2. And how we are no longer bound to obey our flesh, our body, our old, sinful nature –
3. Because it has been declared dead by God!
B. From the moment we are born, we are “Married” to our flesh – stuck to it
C. Everyone Wants to be Married to a “Better Partner”
D. There IS a Better Man to Marry
E. But He (Jesus) cannot marry us
F. Someone has to Die if You are Going to Marry the Better Man
1. The Better Man did die
2. And the old me died with Christ (all my sinful past) AMEN1
G. The Resurrected Christ made me Able to Cling to Christ Now in a New Relationship
1. When I believed that He died for me, God declared the old me, dead
2. And He made me free to remarry the resurrected Christ!
3. Romans 7:5,6 For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.
4. WALK AWAY from the grave of the old you
5. And walk IN the new relationship that Jesus has brought you into
IV.Conclusion
A. Forget about all the needs of your body – it cannot be saved
B. It will rot and decay and turn to dust
C. But your soul will live on forever
D. You decide whether you will serve the old you that leads to death and hell
E. Or serve the new husband, Jesus, who will never leave you or forsake you forever